People think, like I used to, that when a couple loses their child or children that their loss is shared. The child or children him or herself are shared, but the loss, the loss is different. As I sit here on the first Father’s Day after losing our twin boys on November 29, 2024, that [...]
Tag: loss
The Other Side
And suddenly I'm on the other side of a phone call I've made so many times, and I'm silent. Her tears come fast, her words frantic and breathing uncontrolled. Another cycle, another failed attempt to become pregnant. And she asks me the question I may never have the answer to, "why?" Why her? Why them? [...]
New Life Begins
Easter weekend was incredibly emotional for me--not only is Easter the most sacred of celebrations in the Christian faith, it also holds a special place in my life. One year ago, Easter was one of the hardest days of my life. It happened to be the first holiday that came after our failed IUI. For [...]
More than a Nursery
As I sit here wide awake before the sun in our baby boys' room, fresh with new paint and stacks of clothes we've slowly been accumulating, I can't help but recall the many sleepless nights that lead me to this one.
An Update from a Quiet Place
I'm not sure where to begin. Logic would say at the beginning, but I can't. It's too much. I know I haven't updated. I know I haven't spoken. My throat got so tired, you see. I opened myself up to ignorance and misunderstanding. I opened myself up--really is the point. And I stopped wanting to [...]
Thankful List
I know my last blog post read pretty hopeless. It was a true record of this experience. Some days I forget all about our almost baby. Some days pass quickly and quietly, and I am thankful for them. The last few days have been a bit that way. I've been feeling decent today, though Monday [...]
Trials and Failures
I've been avoiding this. I've come up with every excuse in the book as to why I don't have time, energy, want, and on and on to write. The truth is I'm tired. I'm exhausted and defeated. And that's not really the kind of story people like to tell. But since I don't have any [...]
Lessons from Job
Many of my religious mentors have referenced Job throughout this difficult season of life, so I decided to see what it was all about. So, for reasons I don't entirely understand (I should caveat this by saying that I really never read an entire story or really any of the Bible on a regular basis, so [...]
Life and Faith
A dear friend of mine, Rachael, has been going through a tremendous amount of loss in this season of her life. She has, sadly, lost both her father and grandfather. I’ve watched her suffering and all I can do is offer my own brokenness to show her it’s okay to fall apart. It’s not the [...]
The Messy Middle 