With the same thread That holds the stars in place Your hearts were weaved Cavities where meteors go to rest Your fingers--tiny, compressed galaxies Made to hold worlds And moons And dreams Like mine Your ever-moving, ever-kicking toes Traced in constellations That we used to hope upon Now we know They were just keeping you [...]
Tag: Infertility
The Things I Wish I Knew Before I Began Infertility Treatment : The Logistics
This last week has been full of reflection. I've had a lot of long drives by myself to and from the doctors. It's the first time in a long time that I've been able to look at this journey and think something positive. As I've thought back through these past two and a half years, [...]
Today is Not Your Mother’s Day
I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to write this post, trying to find something encouraging for those of you out there who will be experiencing a childless Mother's Day. In just a few hours, I'm due to go to church where I'm sure they will make some sort of statement about today [...]
I am with you
It’s been nearly eight months since I’ve started recording my infertility journey and each post I’ve written has taken me to a place of sorrow that I can no longer go. I promise to someday comb back through the painful details of these last few months, but I cannot now. I’m holding tight to what [...]
Thankful List
I know my last blog post read pretty hopeless. It was a true record of this experience. Some days I forget all about our almost baby. Some days pass quickly and quietly, and I am thankful for them. The last few days have been a bit that way. I've been feeling decent today, though Monday [...]
Trials and Failures
I've been avoiding this. I've come up with every excuse in the book as to why I don't have time, energy, want, and on and on to write. The truth is I'm tired. I'm exhausted and defeated. And that's not really the kind of story people like to tell. But since I don't have any [...]
Lessons from Job
Many of my religious mentors have referenced Job throughout this difficult season of life, so I decided to see what it was all about. So, for reasons I don't entirely understand (I should caveat this by saying that I really never read an entire story or really any of the Bible on a regular basis, so [...]
Life and Faith
A dear friend of mine, Rachael, has been going through a tremendous amount of loss in this season of her life. She has, sadly, lost both her father and grandfather. I’ve watched her suffering and all I can do is offer my own brokenness to show her it’s okay to fall apart. It’s not the [...]
I Choose Hope
I've made a choice, as we all do, what would be my "North Star" as I've journeyed through infertility. I've chosen frustration. I've chosen disappointment. I've chosen anger. I've chosen loss. It has been an easy choice, as the wrong ones usually are. With every negative pregnancy test, with every incorrect ovulation test, with every doctor [...]
Facing The Reality of Infertility
The journey of infertility has left me broken in ways that I never thought possible. Even just the term, "infertility" still makes me cringe. Struggling through this has left me feeling beaten.
The Messy Middle 