Pulled to the ground, tight, I'm the only thing between floating or falling. The knot ran out of strength. They were too worn, and one by one they pluck, pluck, plucked their way to freedom in the sky. Like usual, I was left holding the remains, trying to keep something in tact that wasn't meant [...]
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The Things I Wish I Knew Before I Began Infertility Treatment : The Logistics
This last week has been full of reflection. I've had a lot of long drives by myself to and from the doctors. It's the first time in a long time that I've been able to look at this journey and think something positive. As I've thought back through these past two and a half years, [...]
Today is Not Your Mother’s Day
I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to write this post, trying to find something encouraging for those of you out there who will be experiencing a childless Mother's Day. In just a few hours, I'm due to go to church where I'm sure they will make some sort of statement about today [...]
I am with you
It’s been nearly eight months since I’ve started recording my infertility journey and each post I’ve written has taken me to a place of sorrow that I can no longer go. I promise to someday comb back through the painful details of these last few months, but I cannot now. I’m holding tight to what [...]
Thankful List
I know my last blog post read pretty hopeless. It was a true record of this experience. Some days I forget all about our almost baby. Some days pass quickly and quietly, and I am thankful for them. The last few days have been a bit that way. I've been feeling decent today, though Monday [...]
Trials and Failures
I've been avoiding this. I've come up with every excuse in the book as to why I don't have time, energy, want, and on and on to write. The truth is I'm tired. I'm exhausted and defeated. And that's not really the kind of story people like to tell. But since I don't have any [...]
Lessons from Job
Many of my religious mentors have referenced Job throughout this difficult season of life, so I decided to see what it was all about. So, for reasons I don't entirely understand (I should caveat this by saying that I really never read an entire story or really any of the Bible on a regular basis, so [...]
Life and Faith
A dear friend of mine, Rachael, has been going through a tremendous amount of loss in this season of her life. She has, sadly, lost both her father and grandfather. I’ve watched her suffering and all I can do is offer my own brokenness to show her it’s okay to fall apart. It’s not the [...]
“Love” Has not Won
I have stood silently, watching the country unravel at the idea of Donald Trump being the President. My social media is littered with articles, commenting on Trump's latest tweet or Ivanka's clothing line, or Melania's parenting choices. The #notmyPresident has been trending on my feed accompanied by enraged comments about his too-tan skin, or his hand [...]
To the already Moms,
To the already Moms, You might be new at this, or a seasoned veteran. Children might have been a surprise to you, or a well planned out gift. You may have adopted yours, or given yours up for a better home. You might have decided not to have yours at all. For one reason or [...]
The Messy Middle 