Tonight is Oliver’s first official night out of our room (that is, unless, of course, I change my mind and sneak him back into our room). I sit, rocking him, nursing him as he drifts off to sleep, and I think about his little body tucked against mine. I think about he’s not as small [...]
The difficulties of being a mom aren't what I thought they would be. Sure, there's the sleep deprivation, the physical exhaustion, the two screaming babies, the relentless worrying--those are all some what things I expected because everyone tells you all about them. The hardest part, though, isn't any of those--or perhaps, it's a combination of those.
And suddenly I'm on the other side of a phone call I've made so many times, and I'm silent. Her tears come fast, her words frantic and breathing uncontrolled. Another cycle, another failed attempt to become pregnant. And she asks me the question I may never have the answer to, "why?" Why her? Why them? [...]
The Messy Middle 