I can recall last New Years Eve, December 31, 2015, when each member of my family chose a word to focus on for the coming year. We've done this for the last few NYE. Last year, I chose Health and Play. Health, to get to a point where I could go several days in a [...]
I've made a choice, as we all do, what would be my "North Star" as I've journeyed through infertility. I've chosen frustration. I've chosen disappointment. I've chosen anger. I've chosen loss. It has been an easy choice, as the wrong ones usually are. With every negative pregnancy test, with every incorrect ovulation test, with every doctor [...]
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 Today is a day of bliss, a day where I can not dismiss or avoid or forget the abundance that God has given me. To be honest, I've been trying to forget God's goodness. Between my [...]
Your shoes are worn through from running, your hands raw from climbing, your knees bloodied from falling; you are tired. You are not alone. Dear fellow man, you are certainly not alone. We live in a world saturated by evil, deceit, hate, and chaos. And, though the news might make you believe otherwise, the state [...]
The journey of infertility has left me broken in ways that I never thought possible. Even just the term, "infertility" still makes me cringe. Struggling through this has left me feeling beaten.
To my almost son or my almost daughter, I've been scared to talk about you, to think and dream and hope for you. I've been afraid of people's misunderstanding, their ignorance, their judgment. I've tried to hide you from it, my almost child. I've tried to hide me from it. But today, God said to [...]
“Get up,” that voice says—persistent as always—what peels me from the comfort of my bed, what lifts me from the bloodied concrete. It is not my own, but my mother’s voice calling to me. “Get up,” she says again as she will until I do. I’m crumpled up. Someone has tossed me out and missed [...]
Innocence is the most underrated virtue. In this world, experience, knowledge, is hailed as king. Not that innocence is the antithesis of this, but it is thought to be. To be innocent is to be ignorant. This might sound extreme, but when you look at our society, you are sure to see the truth in [...]
There's a fine line between nice and weak (a line that I don't care to walk, personally). And nice guys usually get lumped in with weak guys. It's unfortunate really and I thought that it might make more sense coming from someone who wanted the bad boys before marrying a nice guy. Niceness is [...]
Sometimes it's easy for me to forget that there was ever anything before Anthony. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. This is partially because we've been together for a somewhat substantial amount of time (nearly five years now), partially because all of the things we have endured together, partially because of the stage of life [...]
The Messy Middle 