Easter weekend was incredibly emotional for me--not only is Easter the most sacred of celebrations in the Christian faith, it also holds a special place in my life. One year ago, Easter was one of the hardest days of my life. It happened to be the first holiday that came after our failed IUI. For [...]
As I sit here wide awake before the sun in our baby boys' room, fresh with new paint and stacks of clothes we've slowly been accumulating, I can't help but recall the many sleepless nights that lead me to this one.
I'm sorry for being such an absentee blogger lately. Pregnancy is slow moving, in many ways, so it may be better than you aren't getting the play by play! In any case, here's a quick update on how everything has been going. Weeks 6-14 The first trimester (which really only goes through 13, but 14 [...]
It's been long. Too long, I know, that I've gone without an update. Especially considering that this particular post is one that I never thought I'd get the chance to write. The one where I get to tell the world, "it worked. We're pregnant!" It's still so surreal, to be honest. And I think there [...]
I know with my recent happy news, it may seem like I don't understand what it's like to try and survive a childless holiday, but before the joy of this year, I faced this season like you--cringing at every pregnancy announcement, teary-eyed at the "baby's first Christmas" ornaments, and generally, feeling empty. Last year I [...]
With the same thread That holds the stars in place Your hearts were weaved Cavities where meteors go to rest Your fingers--tiny, compressed galaxies Made to hold worlds And moons And dreams Like mine Your ever-moving, ever-kicking toes Traced in constellations That we used to hope upon Now we know They were just keeping you [...]
Today will mark the beginning of our forever together or the beginning of a difficult goodbye. If it is the former, I will start first by thanking God, then kiss my husband, then finally allow myself to picture our lives with you. If it is the latter, I will start first by thanking God, then [...]
This month has been hard. As any of my infertility sisters know, when you're trying to conceive (TTC), you live month to month. Early this month, I was laid off--rather, my department was. It was unexpected and abrupt, though not entirely surprising. I was uncharacteristically okay with it. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy my [...]
I'm not sure where to begin. Logic would say at the beginning, but I can't. It's too much. I know I haven't updated. I know I haven't spoken. My throat got so tired, you see. I opened myself up to ignorance and misunderstanding. I opened myself up--really is the point. And I stopped wanting to [...]
Lucy looked along the beam and presently saw something in it. At first it looked like a cross, then it looked like an aeroplane, then it looked like a kite, and at last with a whirring of wings it was right overhead and was an albatross. It circled three times round the mast and then [...]
The Messy Middle 