A few weeks ago, I decided to delete all my social media apps. My husband and I were managing pretty well, all things considered, navigating the challenges of COVID-19. Then, when George Floyd was murdered—the already precarious situation our society was in combusted into chaos.

I, like many others, wanted to get and stay “informed.” But minute by minute, the story evolved, changed, shape-shifted, and turned more and more ugly. And as hard as any of us have tried to keep up, I’m certain that we are all individually missing at least part of the stories that emerged.

I, like many others, wanted to get and stay “informed.” But minute by minute, the story evolved, changed, shape-shifted, and turned more and more ugly.

My focused was to be armed—to uphold and protect the truth, but it was a moving target. I couldn’t keep up and, more importantly, I stopped wanting to. I decided to stop believing the lie that we are fed that knowledge is the greatest good. I wrote a post dedicated to this topic.

I was listening to an episode of one of my favorite podcasts, Wild at Heart, talking about how our souls were not made to move at the speed that information is given to us. This wholly spoke to me and made me realize that I needed to stop the inflow of information.

So, instead of continuing to feed the machine of hashtags and buzzwords (as I was), I decided to just let go. To stop being so focused on being the most informed and focus on my corner of the world: my family, my home, my faith.

It’s only been a few weeks and I already feel a huge difference. I have definitely realized how much time I spent (and wasted) surfing social media mindlessly and also realized how much what I saw impacted me.

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I’ve tried to spend more time being completely present in the moments I have with my family. Anthony mentioned that even when we watched a show together, we would both be scrolling through our newsfeeds. We couldn’t even do the simple act of watching a show together without being interrupted by information.

I was spending a lot of my life behind the camera, taking pictures and videos of my kids for the sake of sharing it, not for the sake of remembering. It’s actually a bit disappointing how much fewer photos and videos I’ve taken in the last few weeks—because I frequently scroll back through my phone to look at how my kids have grown when I’m feeling off. Social media does become a catalog of our lives, and that’s really the great part about it, but I don’t want to prioritize my memories by what is most sharable.

It’s hard, as a photographer and mother, to not want to capture every single second of my kids’ lives, but sometimes, having the memories alone is even sweeter than recording it.

Social media gives us all a false sense of power. We can start and end virtual wars daily. We can pass virtual judgment on virtual realities. And sometimes, we even convince ourselves it’s for people’s good. How twisted it all is.

Social media gives us all a false sense of power. We can start and end virtual wars daily. We can pass virtual judgment on virtual realities.

I don’t think that social media is evil—in theory, I think it’s pretty incredible. But what it was intended for and what it has become are very different. Give humans anything beautiful, and we’ll find a way to muck it up (look at the Garden of Eden for crying out loud). Social media was created to connect us, to help share our lives with others beyond what even our physical radius would allow. Now, of course, it has turned into a replacement of true connectivity—a farce. It didn’t have to be this way—but it has become this way.

I’m glad to have taken this time to see the truth of what social media really is and also reevaluate what it should be in my life—a place to record and share memories. For me, that is the only positive purpose I’ve seen it fulfill.

If you are feeling especially heavy with the state of the world, you aren’t alone. I encourage you to take a break from the relentless cries of all media for your attention and action. We were not made to carry every heartache of the world—though we may wish to. We have to take care of our souls; they are the only ones we have. They are easily tarnished and not so easily mended. Take a moment. Take a breath. And take some time to soak in the silence.