To my beautiful baby boys,

I am not so naive to think that the constant questions about your “twin-ness” will stop once you are grown. Your life will hold within it constant comparisons. Some days you may feel you’ve fallen in the shadow of each other. Some will say one of you is “good” and the other not. Some will say one of you is athletic or smart or kind and the other not. People will want to make sense of you two existing as two, full, whole individuals when you co-exist from the same matter. They’ll want to label you, and you will not be able to stop them.

It is not yours to manage others’ expectations and assumptions about you. It is for you and only you to dictate who you will be not in spite of each other, but side by side with one another.

You will have different interests, hobbies, and talents because, though you share DNA, you will not have to share everything. God created both of you for different purposes–both great and wonderful reasons which I can’t wait to witness.

Some days I’m sure it will be hard. Some days you may wish that people would stop looking at you like one side of the same coin and see you as your own coin. I know that. I cannot keep them from it. I cannot hide you from it, but I’m also not sorry for it. I don’t wish that I’d been gifted you two at two different times. I don’t wish that I only had two hands to hold and one forehead to kiss. I don’t wish away your twin-ness away for a minute because God knew, as He always does, my heart needed both of you. Our home needed both of you.

Oh, my dears, if only you knew how deeply your father and I yearned for you–how many nights I’d lay awake, wondering if I’d ever get to meet even just one of you, how many days I spent curled up in your daddy’s arms, praying for our house to be full.

I know you didn’t have a choice in how you came into this world. I know you didn’t get to choose if you wanted to take on these adventures alone or not. But I also know that the two of you, each of you, have so many amazing things ahead of you and it is my true hope that you will tackle your challenges and celebrate your triumphs together.

No matter how the rest of this world sees you, know that your father and I see each of you. We see you not by how you compare to each other, but as the children we fought for, as the answer to a heartbroken prayer. You both being born to us has been a testament of God’s love beyond any other act.

May you never take each other for granted, and may you use our love for you as a foundation for you to choose the life you want to build for yourselves.

With all of our hearts,

Mom and Dad