I’m 21. Not by choice, by the force of time. I’m not a drinker–I can’t handle my liquor. I’m not a partier–I don’t have enough friends. I’m not a socializer–the friends thing again, and also I’m not a big fan of people. I’ll have gone through my twenty first year of life without ever having or ever having wanted to be black out drunk. Instead I graduated college early, got married, got a grown up job, and a grown up rent (kind of).
My idea of a fun Saturday is finger painting with my husband while doing laundry. My idea of a long night is staying up past 11:00PM watching movies. My favorite person to hang out with outside of my marriage is my niece who is a seven month old. Every Sunday is family day. So is every Wednesday and Saturday. I like to daydream about where I will be in five years.
Yet, somehow this life I lead is considered dull.
I’ve been told that I haven’t “lived life” yet. That I’m too young to be married, to want children, to be the person I am. Truth is, I don’t think I’ve ever fit into my age. It’s been like a sweater that shrunk in the dryer–smaller than expected, itchy, and uncomfortable. It’s not that I’m not immature–I still have an outrageous collection of stuffed animals that would put that to rest–I guess my idea of an exciting life is just not what it is supposed to be.
Well, this is the start of the story of my life. My average, “boring,” life and my average “dull” beliefs. This is the world as I see it.
The Messy Middle 
Sorry if this comment is poorly written- I am very tired… Anyways, beautifully written my dear. I agree with you on a lot of things. It disappoints me that so many people are in this (as many would call it) YOLO phase. They believe that just because they are young they feel and partake in activities that make no sense (at least not to me) such as only living for the weekends because that’s when they can party hardy. I find it difficult to meet anybody new because they only want to hang out if drinking is involved. I enjoy being sober and do not understand why alcohol needs to be involved to have a good time. As far as people commenting and saying “you’re too young, why would you do that” I think that is very rude and ignorant. Nobody knows you better than yourself. If I believe that I am ready for a life event to take place then I know I am ready. It makes no sense judge an individual by their age because they do not know how your eyes see the world as well as the many paths you have been down-and survived for that matter!
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Leslie, thank you for your thoughts and they were conveyed very well! 🙂 I completely agree, the YOLO phase gets old quickly in my opinion. It’s very difficult to find people who feel the same. It’s not that I think alcohol is bad or evil or that I never have had a good time having a drink, but I just don’t NEED it. I think that’s the major difference. People should be able to enjoy their life without needing to be drunk to do so.
I appreciate your thought. Yes, it can come out very rude when people say things like this, but I think it’s mostly misguided. It’s so easy to get pulled into the YOLO mindset. I guess that’s my main point, there isn’t enough “press” around a different lifestyle.
Please continue to feel free to share your thoughts on this journey! I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond! 🙂
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A boring life leads to an extraordinary life. I lead what is considered a boring life as well but when I’m gone from this world I don’t believe they will say it was boring. I believe they will say it was extraordinary. I want to know why people do the things they do. I think I’m finally heading down a road that will tell me.
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I think considering the mark you leave behind is one of the biggest reasons for not being short-term oriented. You have kids; you understand that your actions (even some of the ones you made before you had any of the girls) affect them. It’s not “dull” to think about how your actions will affect others or how they will affect your future–it’s important.
For me, I think the main point is that the conversation needs to change about what an extraordinary life looks like. To me, there is nothing very extraordinary about making all choices selfishly or just to get from one moment to the next. Certainly there are situations where it is better to act first than think first. But in a general sense, I think it’s important for people to consider the big picture.
Thanks for reading, Tina! Interested to hear your thoughts as I continue posting 🙂
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What a fine compliment you’ve paid me! Thank you very much. I appreciate your feedback.
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